For the most part, I stuck with my original goals for this semester, as stated in my study plan. As always, it was difficult to foresee what course my studies would actually follow when I wrote my study plan at the beginning of the semester, but this time I ended up assembling a body of work which fulfilled almost every aspect of my study plan. When I did choose to deviate from the plan, my advisor was aware of and supportive of my minor changes in direction. 

I focused on bringing the knowledge of self-transformation of consciousness as presented by various mythological and mystical systems of belief into a modern format which would be more easily accessible to the modern learner. I did so in two formats, those being essays and creative writing pieces. These were produced in almost every case by first reading the writings of various authors, and then intermingling their knowledge and understanding with my own experience of self-transformation. 

In order to broaden my writing abilities, I attempted to work with different styles of writing, finding that some had more impact on the reader than others. I feel that this was one of my major areas of growth. In fact, I feel that my most major growth occurred as a result of writing in various styles, and realizing that if I am to continue writing on myth and religion, I must focus more on creative writing as a mode of conveying the ideas which I focus on. This would require a subsequent loss of focus on essay type writing, which I have worked with more extensively in the past than any other format. 

It is easy for me to see that my school work this semester has changed my understanding of self-transformation immensely. More than anything else, my work has demonstrated to me the severe limitation of writing when it comes to attempting to convey the complex experience of the self-transformative process, and this realization has caused me to consider a change in direction for my coming semesters’ work. Because of this semester’s work, I have come to see that writing, which was always my preferred medium for my studies, is part of a mode which is becoming less and less central to my being.  

The ramifications of this realization for myself are frankly immense, as I have never previously wavered from the notion that I would write on comparative myth and religion for the remainder of my years at Goddard, if not for the rest of my life. I do still intend to pursue my study of myth and religion, although the medium which I choose to express my learning process through will in all probability change dramatically, at least for a short period of time.  

Hey Steryl, 

To start with, I owe you a pretty big apology. Although I feel like I did the best that I could at the time, that last packet of mine was simply not up to par, and I realized that now completely. I realized it after talking with some close friends of mine who are also writers, and from reading your response. It’s not like me to regret my past actions, but I am rather dissapointed with myself for having put to pen what I did. 

My problem is this - despite the fact that all I have done for years is study and write about myth and religion, I don’t feel like I can do it anymore. The uselessness of words is becoming more and more apparent every day. I feel like that last packet was totally an expression of the fact that I don’t want to put these things into words anymore, but I had to do it one last time. And more than that, I was trying to sum up everything I had covered for the whole year. In the end, I produced a wishy washy new age-sounding chaotic mess. 

For next semester, I plan on changing direction, as you can read in my semester evaluation. I think I am going to focus on visual art. I’ve been working with celtic line art since I was 14, and I think that is where my heart will be when the residency rolls around. Celtic line art is all based on geometry, so it will be easy to study up on Sacred Geometry and integrate the ideas presented by it into my artwork. Also, I can work with trying to convey some of the notions I have gained from my past work through the visual medium. 

Frankly, I’m a bit shaken up by all of this. I can’t tell if I’m just growing to the next level (whatever that is), or if I’ve somehow lost a fundamental belief in my own abilities. This sort of dual-vision of my own path is typical of me - it’s a bit of a pain in the ass, as it kind of drives me nuts, but on the other hand it can give me scope and perspective. In the end, it is clear that I need to get away from writing for a bit, whatever the reason may be, so that is what I intend on doing. 

Besides all that insanity, I have to thank you immensely for your side of this semester’s work. You contributed to my growth and understanding considerably, and your simple honesty was better than anyhting I could have asked for. Thank you. I don’t know if you would be interested in working with me again this next semester, seeing as I will be moving into the visual arts realm, but considering how loose Goddard policy is, it’s a possibility. Of course, there would be no complaints from this side of the fence, but we can discuss this more at the rez itself. 

Take care, Steryl, and enjoy what remains of the summer to the best of your ability. 

Aidrian